


Tightpants

by Danianha



Category: Midsomer Murders - All Media Types, Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-26
Updated: 2017-10-26
Packaged: 2019-01-23 06:35:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12501072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Danianha/pseuds/Danianha
Summary: Oddly enough, Sally is looking forward to ending her exile.





	Tightpants

There they go – DI Scruffy and his latest puppy: Sgt Tightpants.

Tightpants. He’s an odd one - so bloody polite…subservient though I reckon, not a brown-nose. And he’s got no idea how to talk to women. Wonder if he’s the only child of elderly parents? Either that or brought up in a monastery.

He’s got a right strange dress sense too. Must spend near all his salary on dry-cleaning...that and comfortable shoes – the lad doesn’t sit down very often. I’m actually surprised he can sit at all – can’t be comfortable, probably cuts off circulation to important areas - must be hell in a car.

So off he trots behind the DI, scurrying off to solve yet another multiple murder.

Still, they’re all weird here…must be something in the water…or the air…or just the bloody countryside. It’s not just Scruffy and his puppy – just look at the rest of them! There’s that sort-of-cute-but-chunky lad who’s always running searches for his mother of all people…just ‘cause she was once a policewoman…she’s a bloody gardener now. **Jeeze**.

Still; nosy, interfering family seems to be the thing here - if it’s not curious mothers it’s matchmaking wives. (And if Mrs Scruffy gives me one more ‘helpful’ introduction I _will_ kick her). Pathologists last a year if we’re lucky. And they’re all skinny, panting _girls_.

When will this exile end!? Even working with the Freak was better. Here if it’s not 90 year old speed cyclists running into orchid smugglers it’s arrows in the back at one of the innumerable county fairs. Why does anyone choose to live here???

“Donovan! Your team head to Midsomer Malton. St Bercthun’s. Body in the Belfry.”

Of _course_ there is!

**Author's Note:**

> Not a challenge so much as a short exercise to get back into writing now that it's Spring and driving to Tilley's isn't such a chore.  
> Midsomer Murders, Sherlock and a tiny bit of Rosemary and Thyme.


End file.
